My dream
When I was a little girl , I wanted be a scientist who made a robot. At that time ,I and all of the children in korea really love a Taggeun V . If Korea ‘war happened again , I would rescue my country and my family. I always build castles in spain .So I learned Tageundo in school. But what to learn Tageundo was very difficult for a little girl . I got hurt every day .Finally I gave it up . That day I was crying and crying . I thought ” I don’t protact my country any more” Now , I changed my deam . Actually I did’t decide yet because I have many things that I’ d like to do . As I learn to english , I get have many chance for my future . Whatever my dream , What is a clear thing is that I will acomplish my dream through english.
1 Comment
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Eun Soo,
First of all, I don’t know exactly why the formatting looks strange. Are you pressing the ENTER key many times when you write? Please remember only to press it after the end of a paragraph!
I’ll fix the text now, but if you have this problem again, please come and check with me about how to avoid it. There may be a few different reasons why this happened.
Next: I want you to pay very close attention to the way you use singular and plural forms of nouns. Look at the first sentence:
If you were a scientist who made a robot, you’d be a very poor scientist! I think you mean this:
Right?
There’s a similar place where you use a singular noun when it should be plural — can you find it?
Finally, what do you mean by “I always build castles in Spain”? Do you mean that you’re a daydreamer? Or that you always plan on the impossible? And what is Taeggun V? I have never heard of it before, and you’d make it a lot clearer to me if you said, “I loved the doll Taeggun V” or “I loved the TV show Taeggun V, which was about robots that could use taekwondo to fight evil villains” or something like that.
Try writing the paragraph again (a) with more attention to singular/plural and (b) with an explanation of the connection between your robot-making dream, Taeggun V, and your studies of taekwondo.