the homeless in my mind….. ?
There’re too many homeless people all over the world. In other countries, they are more likely to be addicted to the drugs. On the contrary, drugs are not serious cause here. What are the reasons of being so many of them in Korea? Before that, let me say my feelings for them. When I see them, usually they pass me in the subway, I feel pressed. Apparently they don’t beg me directly but I don’t know what I should do. The result is just as you think. I don’t hand money at all; there’re exceptions, though. Worse, I am sick and tired of seeing those people these days. How do other people think for them?
I suggest there’re some stereotypes in Korea. People commonly doubt their being blind. There’re rumors that beggars got money and then walked and checked the money without problem just as others out of subway. The second thought of people is, “Why don’t they try to make money for themselves? Even though they’re handicapped, if they have strong mind to work and survive, they can.�? Whereas I wrote these stereotypes, I realized some opposite questions. Their begging is like somehow a fundraising. And they might be the desperate people who don’t get any help from anybody. In case of Canada, they have had enough money and facilities to support homeless. But because all Korean homeless can’t get protected in basic living, they came out.
Owing to this my condense writing, I could notice my thinking. Until today, actually I’ve had practically negative thinking for the homeless, but I feel sympathy for them even though a little bit.
2 Comments
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KyoungHwa,
What a nice piece of writing. It’s interesting, thoughtful, intelligent, and compassionate. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and making the rest of us think.
I’m going to point out only three problems for right now.
#1. “There’re” is something we use in speech a LOT, and in comic books, but in formal writing, this particular contraction isn’t common. We usually just write “There are” instead.
#2. You wrote that when you see homeless people on the subway, you feel “pressed”. I know what you mean, but this isn’t exactly the right word. Usually, pressed is used to refer to being short on time: “I’m pressed for time”. Or else, physically “pressed”: “The subway car was so full I was pressed against the door for five minutes!” I think in this case, using a dictionary would be a good idea to find exactly the right word, because feelings are hard to express exactly, and because it’s an important word for this piece of writing.
#3. Keep It Simple, Student! Your last paragraph begins with a very complex sentence. “Owing to this my condense writing” is especially complicated, and for no reason. When you write something in a more complex way than necessary, it means more risk of errors and of unclear writing. I’d prefer a simple sentence like, “Writing this explanation made me notice how I think about homeless people.” or “I noticed my thinking about homeless people through writing this essay.” Keep It Simple unless there’s a really big reason to write something more complicated.
I really agree with you. I always think about that “why don’t they their work hard like other people?” whenever I watched them on a subway. They must keep ‘Harvest as much as seeded’in mind.