Hines Ward
Hines Ward threw a first pitch on the opening day of major-league baseball game in Korea. It means he must be very popular because only celeberities have done it before. He is a MVP in super ball this year in U.S.A ,but the reason he is in sportlight of many people is that he’s a half Korean. His father was American, his mother raised him alone. Whenever he has an interview, he always talks about mother and the greatest love of his mother. For the success of Hines Ward, many mixed people are hoping of living in korea without discrimination. Hines Ward asked our nations to treat the mixed people with warm heart. So, he wishes lots of half koreans will be happy like him.
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Ji Young,
Yes, Hines Ward is big in the news now, and because of him, many people are discussing children of mixed-race couples in Korea. It’s interesting…
Now, for the things that could be improved in this paragraph:
Hines Ward threw a first pitch on the opening day of major-league baseball game in Korea.
There is only ever one first pitch on opening day, right? You’ll find in English, we almost never use the indefinite article “a” with “first”, because first is always a definite thing. So we usually say “the first”.
Spelling! Although “sportlight” could be a great new word for the sports-spotlight, it’s not really a proper English word… yet. Similarly, “celeberities” is spelled incorrectly. Check it!
His father was American, his mother raised him alone.
Whenever he has an interview, he always talks about mother and the greatest love of his mother.
I’m going to pick on how you make compound sentences here. A compound sentence is not made with only a comma, like in your first example. You also need a conjunction like “but”, “and,” “or”, etc. Which conjunction would you use in this sentence?
His father was American, his mother raised him alone.
As for the second sentence:
Whenever he has an interview, he always talks about
hismother and the greatest love of his mother.Here you use a conjunction, “and”, and it’s in the right place. It doesn’t need a comma. However, the sentence is a little awkward. Here’s why… usually, in English, we assign a possession to a person after the person’s name, instead of before.
For example, instead of “the love of his mother”, we more often say, “his mother’s love.” “The love of his mother” is fine in terms of grammar, but it’s just longer and more awkward, so we use it much less.
So your sentence would be:
Whenever he has an interview, he always talks about his mother and his mother’s love.
But the problem here is that the two sentences that you’re joining are:
Whenever he has an interview, he always talks about his mother.Whenever he has an interview, he always talks about his mother’s greatestlove.If we combine these, we get,
Whenever he has an interview, he always talks about his mother and his mother’s great love.
But that repeats too much: “his mother” and “his mother’s”. So here’s a solution:
Whenever he has an interview, he always talks about his mother and
his mother’sher great love.Sentence fixed! Sorry it’s so long, I just wanted to explain what I was changing and why.
If you’re wondering why I changed “greatest” to just “great”, it’s because usually when we say “her greatest love”, it refers to a romantic kind of love, ie. her ex-husband, for example. That clearly isn’t what Mr. Ward is talking about, so “great love” is more appropriate.