In the year of 2009, I returned to Korea from New Zealand. Around August, weather in New Zealand and Korea is winter and summer. When I got off the plane, you know what I felt? Suffocation. It was extremely hot that I could barely breathe at first. However, hot weather was not the only reason I felt something was killing me. It had been really comfortable to use the Internet in New Zealand despite the cow walking like internet speed, whereas Korea has always been asking all the residence registration number, and personal information every time on the Internet. Why can’t you just let us use the Internet without absolutely useless interrogation for personal information? I tell you what. The three little stories will make your eyes open and see outside the world.
The Korean government has been contradicting themselves. Since the start of President Lee administration, the government has put much value on Korea’s globalization. However, Korea is the only one country in the world, which regulates freedom in the Internet. As a result of this, both citizens of Korea and foreigners come with high expectations about Korea have been going through every step to live with the Internet here. Last month, CNN reported an interesting news about Korea, which is to say that Korea is making fun of themselves by taking ridiculous measures that no country has ever done.
Moreover, the government of Korea has been acting like ‘Big Brother’. It is because they want to watch citizens as if the god watches people above the sky, and when his people have done something bad, those people are going to be executed. Several years ago, Americans strongly expressed their voice together to stop the US government from trying to make security department. People in the US clearly don’t want to stand on a slippery slope with feeling that they can be pushed under the slope anytime. Personally, We, Koreans, are already on the unstoppable slope. The government has been already collecting every movement we make, and our daily lives have been tracked for security reasons. Hey Korean government! Please look up the definition of ‘Democracy’.
Some people say that if it’s the government and for security reasons, it’s fine to give them their valuable information. I see what your point is. However, do we visit the government web site only? We have to give our information to company when we want some services from them. Then, companies always promise not to use our information for personal reason. Is the promise reliable? I don’t think so with a big question mark. So many companies have leaked or sold our information and this led to crimes like voice fishing using our information and illegally making credit card. What’s your solution to that, government?
Once again, we ought to remember that our valuable information is being collected and used somewhere and at the same time, the world is laughing at us. I hope that the government realizes this and does something about this and tries not to make an unreasonable excuse like it’s for your safety and security for our country. Korea is a democratic country, so use your brain if you have any and make it right!
Ultari,
Well, while I sympathize with your position — I am stridently against the kinds of extreme control that your government exerts over the internet in Korea — I’m afraid there are some problems with your essay.
First off — why didn’t you write a strong thesis and restate it in your conclusion? This is something I talked about for weeks on end, made you practice, and it’s still not happening. I’m very disappointed.
Second: you need to watch out not to exaggerate. Korea does have unusually extreme controls over its internet, for s developed, first-world country… but it’s far from the only country with internet controls. Access Denied is a book (the contents of which are all available online) that explores global internet censorship and filtration… though it was published in 2008, and draws on research from before there — thus it’s not up-to-date on Korea (and honestly, it underestimates the degree of control and filtration used on the Korean net), it definitely shows that may other countries control the internet in even more frightening ways. Most of those countries are third world countries, mind you, or run by oppressive states or theocratic regimes, but nonetheless, your statement that “Korea is the only one country in the world, which regulates freedom in the Internet” is utterly wrong. Please do some research if you want your readers to take you seriously! (And when you refer to articles, you need to link or cite them! Where was the article in CNN? Who wrote it? What exactly was claimed?)
While I agree that Koreans have already started the slide down the slippery slope towards an insane, scary amount of internet tracking, filtration, control, and surveillance, you need to elaborate on how, exactly, you think this is happening. It’s not enough to say we’re on a slippery slope: you need to demonstrate it. Evidence, not exclamation marks, are what you need here.
Finally, while you’re right to blame the government for Korea’s bizarrely outdated internet infrastructure (including having to enter your national ID for mere commercial purchases, a ridiculous practice) I think you’re missing the point: the other half of the problem is that citizens in South Korea seem to see nothing wrong with it, and happily enter all that information whenever they’re asked. If anyone is to blame, it’s the people who accept this kind of abusive, invasive crap from their government. So… maybe you should ask your peers what they can do about it? (Some students on campus promoted a Buy Nothing Day… maybe a Buy Nothing Online week would send the message?)
A last problem is that you don’t know who your audience is. You can;’t seem to choose whether you’re talking to Korean citizens, or the government, and switch back and forth at times. Pick an audience and stick with it, and keep the pronouns consistent!
Second,